英语经典笑话

One 

This is guaranteed laughs in the Chinese classroom. It was originally a bit in a Pink Panther movie). 
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, 
"Does your dog bite?" 
The shopkeeper says,"No, my dog does not bite." 
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. 
"Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!" 

TWO 

There were three restauraunts on the same block. One day one of them put up a 
sign which said "The Best Restaurant in the City." 
The next day, the largest restaurant on the block put up a larger sign which 
said "The Best Restaurant in the World." 
On the third day, the smallest restaurant put up a small sign which said "The 
Best Restaurant on this Block." 

THREE 

"Dad, I don't want to go to school today." said the boy. 
"Why not, son?" 
"Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken 
soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had 
roast pork the next day." 
"But why don't you want to go today?" 
"Because our English teacher died yesterday!" 

FOUR 

A woman got on a bus, holding a baby. 
The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." 
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle 
seat near the rear of the bus. 
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what 
was wrong. 
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. 
The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say 
things to insult passengers." 
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of 
my mind." 
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
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